Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Second Place--at Last!
It was reported that the United States of Europe has more wealth, more population, more power, more votes in NATO, more vetoes in the United Nations, and just plain more clout in the world then the United States of America. I say, “Thank God Almighty. Free at last.”
It has been too much for one struggling little upstart of a nation to be responsible for the planet these last few decades. Sure, we are young and strong and have broad shoulders. But we do not have the experience, the maturity, nor the resources to solve everyone’s problems all the time.
I, for one, am tired of the whining and begging for help yesterday and the bitter hatred today and the shock that we don’t help more tomorrow and the hindsight criticism of our do-goodery day after tomorrow. Does anyone hate or resent us more then the very ones that use us? Especially if our help comes with strings attached.
NATO was supposed to be an all for one – one for all agreement. “An attack on one is an attack on all.” So where were our NATO buddies after 9/11? Tsk Tsk Tsking on their fat assets gained from refining Saddam’s oil, that’s where. And have you heard the one about the United Nations?
We may have made some bad decisions of late. Kyoto Accord, Land mind treaties, we have missed out on so many opportunities to make the world a better place. Instead of making positive contributions, we negate every idea that we can’t take credit for.
Then again, going it alone, who wouldn’t? Living at the top, alone, with no natural predators would affect anyone. The rest of the world sees us as pompous arrogant fascists.
Some of our own citizens agree.
All of History screams at us. When one person, one government, one religion, one anything thinks that it has superior insight into righteousness there can be no other result. Absolute power (imagined or real) corrupts absolutely.
No one knows what is best for the world. But together, we can figure it out. We need to be part of this strong European alliance. We need to be just one voice added with all the others. We need all ideas and they need ours.
It was reported that the United States of Europe has more wealth, more population, more power, more votes in NATO, more vetoes in the United Nations, and just plain more clout in the world then the United States of America. I say, “Thank God Almighty. Free at last.”It has been too much for one struggling little upstart of a nation to be responsible for the planet these last few decades. Sure, we are young and strong and have broad shoulders. But we do not have the experience, the maturity, nor the resources to solve everyone’s problems all the time.
I, for one, am tired of the whining and begging for help yesterday and the bitter hatred today and the shock that we don’t help more tomorrow and the hindsight criticism of our do-goodery day after tomorrow. Does anyone hate or resent us more then the very ones that use us? Especially if our help comes with strings attached.
NATO was supposed to be an all for one – one for all agreement. “An attack on one is an attack on all.” So where were our NATO buddies after 9/11? Tsk Tsk Tsking on their fat assets gained from refining Saddam’s oil, that’s where. And have you heard the one about the United Nations?
We may have made some bad decisions of late. Kyoto Accord, Land mind treaties, we have missed out on so many opportunities to make the world a better place. Instead of making positive contributions, we negate every idea that we can’t take credit for.
Then again, going it alone, who wouldn’t? Living at the top, alone, with no natural predators would affect anyone. The rest of the world sees us as pompous arrogant fascists.
Some of our own citizens agree.
All of History screams at us. When one person, one government, one religion, one anything thinks that it has superior insight into righteousness there can be no other result. Absolute power (imagined or real) corrupts absolutely.
No one knows what is best for the world. But together, we can figure it out. We need to be part of this strong European alliance. We need to be just one voice added with all the others. We need all ideas and they need ours.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Spelldown
Tomorrow, Saturday, will be the Macomb County Regional Spelling Bee. I will don my tan sweater, dark pants, and comfortable shoes so that I may donate this one day a year to young people that do not have the best hand/eye coordination nor the best depth perception in their schools. This one day each year, I donate to the kids who take the time to listen to the phonics, hear the root words, decipher the language of origin, and spell words. These kids have understood the importance of language. Together, they brave an auditorium half full of parents and teachers who, for the most part, don’t even appreciate nor understand them.
Are the adults just further proof of the caveman mentality that still permeates our civilization? Oowee Grug, may I feel your muscles. Oowee Grug, tell me about the wild boar you brought down with your bare hands. Yeah, yeah Poindexter, very nice round things you invented. Go away, Poindexter, we don’t want to see that stupid fire thing. Oowee, Oowee, look at Grug’s harry chest. In all fairness to the other sex, women are still judged by childbearing qualities (hips and chests) and not by their acuities.
I once knew two young men, Johnny A and Johnny B. Johnny A got a 35 on his ACTs. Johnny B couldn’t quite get a 17 on his ACTs. But Johnny B could play basketball. Guess which Johnny got numerous offers from prestigious west coast, east coast and mid-west universities for full-ride, totally paid even transportation and housing and spending money (!) scholarships? Guess which Johnny was awarded the privilege of borrowing money from the bank at variable interest rates that would have to be paid back or they will destroy his credit forever?
That’s my country. Where Cavemen rule.
Except this one Saturday in Macomb County.
Tomorrow, Saturday, will be the Macomb County Regional Spelling Bee. I will don my tan sweater, dark pants, and comfortable shoes so that I may donate this one day a year to young people that do not have the best hand/eye coordination nor the best depth perception in their schools. This one day each year, I donate to the kids who take the time to listen to the phonics, hear the root words, decipher the language of origin, and spell words. These kids have understood the importance of language. Together, they brave an auditorium half full of parents and teachers who, for the most part, don’t even appreciate nor understand them.Are the adults just further proof of the caveman mentality that still permeates our civilization? Oowee Grug, may I feel your muscles. Oowee Grug, tell me about the wild boar you brought down with your bare hands. Yeah, yeah Poindexter, very nice round things you invented. Go away, Poindexter, we don’t want to see that stupid fire thing. Oowee, Oowee, look at Grug’s harry chest. In all fairness to the other sex, women are still judged by childbearing qualities (hips and chests) and not by their acuities.
I once knew two young men, Johnny A and Johnny B. Johnny A got a 35 on his ACTs. Johnny B couldn’t quite get a 17 on his ACTs. But Johnny B could play basketball. Guess which Johnny got numerous offers from prestigious west coast, east coast and mid-west universities for full-ride, totally paid even transportation and housing and spending money (!) scholarships? Guess which Johnny was awarded the privilege of borrowing money from the bank at variable interest rates that would have to be paid back or they will destroy his credit forever?
That’s my country. Where Cavemen rule.
Except this one Saturday in Macomb County.
Monday, February 14, 2005
My Funny Valentine
Well, it's that time of year again – a day of fun and romance for half the country, and cynical, grumpy depression for the others. Unlike Sweetest Day, which is a modern creation (though not really a "Hallmark holiday" – it was invented in 1922 in Cleveland to bring candy and cheer to orphans and shut-ins), Valentine's Day has a 1,500 year back story which is both bizarre, and kind of sweet.
To the best of our knowledge (a mix of legend and recorded history), Valentine was a third century priest in Rome during the reign of Claudius II. Believing married soldiers performed poorer than single soldiers, Claudius banned marriage for those fighting in his empire. Defiantly, Father Valentine performed marriages in secret to soldiers and their would-be wives. When this was discovered, Claudius had Valentine arrested.
Awaiting his fate in prison, Valentine fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailor, Asterius. According to legend, Valentine's faith helped heal the daughter, returning her sight. Just before his scheduled beheading, he wrote a handwritten goodbye to the girl, signed "from Your Valentine." After his death, he was sainted by the church.
In the fifth century, Romans still engaged in a festival honoring the god Lupercus, in which the names of young women were picked at random, assigned to young men as sexual slaves for a year. In an effort to "Christianize" the holiday (as was done with Christmas being placed on December 25th, formerly the pagan feast of the Son of Isis), the church initially tried to place names of saints into the "hat" instead of women, hoping each man would endeavor to emulate the saint they had chosen. This was a bit too much of a leap from the original holiday, and was undoubtedly unpopular, so the church attempted a compromise: instead of "winning" the women in a lottery, young men could court girls they desired by writing them handwritten notes of love. Pope Gelasius officially declared February 14th "St. Valentine's Day" in 498 A.D., and it's still celebrated all over the world.
Of course, to those without a valentine, the day will go down as "Black Monday". But at least the story of healing blindness out of faith and love is pretty cool.
Well, it's that time of year again – a day of fun and romance for half the country, and cynical, grumpy depression for the others. Unlike Sweetest Day, which is a modern creation (though not really a "Hallmark holiday" – it was invented in 1922 in Cleveland to bring candy and cheer to orphans and shut-ins), Valentine's Day has a 1,500 year back story which is both bizarre, and kind of sweet.To the best of our knowledge (a mix of legend and recorded history), Valentine was a third century priest in Rome during the reign of Claudius II. Believing married soldiers performed poorer than single soldiers, Claudius banned marriage for those fighting in his empire. Defiantly, Father Valentine performed marriages in secret to soldiers and their would-be wives. When this was discovered, Claudius had Valentine arrested.
Awaiting his fate in prison, Valentine fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailor, Asterius. According to legend, Valentine's faith helped heal the daughter, returning her sight. Just before his scheduled beheading, he wrote a handwritten goodbye to the girl, signed "from Your Valentine." After his death, he was sainted by the church.
In the fifth century, Romans still engaged in a festival honoring the god Lupercus, in which the names of young women were picked at random, assigned to young men as sexual slaves for a year. In an effort to "Christianize" the holiday (as was done with Christmas being placed on December 25th, formerly the pagan feast of the Son of Isis), the church initially tried to place names of saints into the "hat" instead of women, hoping each man would endeavor to emulate the saint they had chosen. This was a bit too much of a leap from the original holiday, and was undoubtedly unpopular, so the church attempted a compromise: instead of "winning" the women in a lottery, young men could court girls they desired by writing them handwritten notes of love. Pope Gelasius officially declared February 14th "St. Valentine's Day" in 498 A.D., and it's still celebrated all over the world.
Of course, to those without a valentine, the day will go down as "Black Monday". But at least the story of healing blindness out of faith and love is pretty cool.
Friday, February 04, 2005
If You’re Not Crazy, You’re Not Paying Attention
We all have titles to our lives. This is mine. Sometimes my story is a book with long streams of consciousness. Sometimes my story is a movie with jazz as the soundtrack and I’m driving down I-94 into the City of Detroit. Sometimes it’s a TV show like a docucomedydrama called Remember Mom aired after they safely snuggle me into my silk and downy quilted coffin and all my advice and wisdom and rumblings turned out to be prophetic.
Yet always I am crazy. Have been since I was seven years old. I remember the day, or night actually. I woke up in the middle of a dark night and saw a vision of red ribbon and heard a high-pitched buzz, and then saw myself at seven, and then saw an old lady with jowls. And I have been crazy since. For years, I thought they had switched me to a different planet. Thought they had taken me to an identical (but different) world where every single thing seemed the same, but wasn’t. All colors and sounds and textures and people were similar, but not right. I knew nothing for sure because it wasn’t really my world. Later, I would learn about alternative universes and thought that explained it.
Anyway, TMI, I’m sure.
The point is, I have found a site. It is an alternate universe. There are a woman and her son that run a blog. The son finds humor. The mother tries to. The son is into film making (he is video taping his world for a Canadian Sunday news show). The mother gets more serious. (There are a couple extra sons, too. And one of them has a hard-line political side.) I have the idea that the son is quite a character. And I am sure they are both crazy.
They try to find sanity. They try to understand their world and make sense of what is happening. Sometimes they are very angry. Sometimes they see the ludicrosity of life. Sometimes, they escape from the real horror of their dimension into the thoughts and happenings of common everyday life, but everyday life teaches lessons and lessons take them right back to the horrors-- albeit with twisted irony. They have shown me a great perspective on my world, my country and me. In their struggle to come to terms with their lives, they are teaching me a lot about mine. But their lives are in Bagdad. And I am so addicted to their site. I hope you have a chance to check them out. I am a deep believer in spending time in alternate universes. The mother is Faiza. The son is Khalid Jarrar.
http://secretsinbaghdad.blogspot.com
We all have titles to our lives. This is mine. Sometimes my story is a book with long streams of consciousness. Sometimes my story is a movie with jazz as the soundtrack and I’m driving down I-94 into the City of Detroit. Sometimes it’s a TV show like a docucomedydrama called Remember Mom aired after they safely snuggle me into my silk and downy quilted coffin and all my advice and wisdom and rumblings turned out to be prophetic.
Yet always I am crazy. Have been since I was seven years old. I remember the day, or night actually. I woke up in the middle of a dark night and saw a vision of red ribbon and heard a high-pitched buzz, and then saw myself at seven, and then saw an old lady with jowls. And I have been crazy since. For years, I thought they had switched me to a different planet. Thought they had taken me to an identical (but different) world where every single thing seemed the same, but wasn’t. All colors and sounds and textures and people were similar, but not right. I knew nothing for sure because it wasn’t really my world. Later, I would learn about alternative universes and thought that explained it.
Anyway, TMI, I’m sure.
The point is, I have found a site. It is an alternate universe. There are a woman and her son that run a blog. The son finds humor. The mother tries to. The son is into film making (he is video taping his world for a Canadian Sunday news show). The mother gets more serious. (There are a couple extra sons, too. And one of them has a hard-line political side.) I have the idea that the son is quite a character. And I am sure they are both crazy.
They try to find sanity. They try to understand their world and make sense of what is happening. Sometimes they are very angry. Sometimes they see the ludicrosity of life. Sometimes, they escape from the real horror of their dimension into the thoughts and happenings of common everyday life, but everyday life teaches lessons and lessons take them right back to the horrors-- albeit with twisted irony. They have shown me a great perspective on my world, my country and me. In their struggle to come to terms with their lives, they are teaching me a lot about mine. But their lives are in Bagdad. And I am so addicted to their site. I hope you have a chance to check them out. I am a deep believer in spending time in alternate universes. The mother is Faiza. The son is Khalid Jarrar.
http://secretsinbaghdad.blogspot.com
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
:)
As readers of this blog (and defeatjohnjohn.com) are aware, I haven't always been a particularly active supporter of President Bush. Yeah, I voted for him -- twice -- but more out of a complete lack of intellectual respect for Gore or (shudder) Kerry than any overriding love of "Dubya".
But ya know, I think I've watched every State of the Union since the last couple of Reagan, and I just like Bush. (W., I mean -- never really cared for his father.) I trust him -- hell, at the risk of offending my friends, I even respect him -- at least far, far, far more than I did Clinton. Which is pretty amazing, considering Clinton had distractingly better speechwriters and dramatically greater charisma.
I watched tonight's address on ABC, and I think Cokie Roberts summed my feelings up best with this:
Right before the State of the Union, I was watching a very old episode of The West Wing in which President Bartlet was going on about the need to "cross borders to build sustainable Democracies, that can banish privation and fear," to cheers of a Democratic party audience. How sad, then, that the Democratic party now preaches of isolationism, spewing racist nonsense about Middle Easterners not being "ready" for Democracy and self-government. Revolting.
Yes, I cringed at the whole gay-marriage amendment crap, and rolled my eyes when Bush said "nu-cue-lar" once again. But hey, I'll be a strong, proud Democrat once the party gets some JFK types back in the wings -- until then, the Republican party, "lesser of two evils" though they may be, has my support.
As readers of this blog (and defeatjohnjohn.com) are aware, I haven't always been a particularly active supporter of President Bush. Yeah, I voted for him -- twice -- but more out of a complete lack of intellectual respect for Gore or (shudder) Kerry than any overriding love of "Dubya".
But ya know, I think I've watched every State of the Union since the last couple of Reagan, and I just like Bush. (W., I mean -- never really cared for his father.) I trust him -- hell, at the risk of offending my friends, I even respect him -- at least far, far, far more than I did Clinton. Which is pretty amazing, considering Clinton had distractingly better speechwriters and dramatically greater charisma.
I watched tonight's address on ABC, and I think Cokie Roberts summed my feelings up best with this:
There was a lot in this speech that was not terribly conciliatory, and the Democrats were mainly well-behaved, but I don't think anyone watching this will get past the moment of the Iraqi woman turning around and completely, spontaneously, hugging the mother of the marine. It was such a moment -- and it really, in a lot of ways, spoke to what the President is trying to say: that the Iraqi people want us there, and that we have liberated them. And to have that completely spontaneous hug was something that leaves you with goosebumps, and I think will have more resonance than any words he said.Now, I know, some of you will scream "it wasn't spontaneous! It was theatre!" and, well, who knows if it was or wasn't. But I haven't seen Bush get choked up like that since 9-11, and I don't think I'd ever seen Cheney choke back sobs before tonight, so ya know what- fuck it. Say it was for the "wrong reasons" all you want, say it was an "accident" or "afterthought" or anything else, but that doesn't change that this President did some good in the world. And to be honest, the Democrat party's "response", with the lamest, most historically-ignorant snot-oozing verbal diarrhea "we need a Marshall Plan for the U.S." sludge is exactly why I'm so grateful that the current iteration of the "Democratic" party is not in power.
Right before the State of the Union, I was watching a very old episode of The West Wing in which President Bartlet was going on about the need to "cross borders to build sustainable Democracies, that can banish privation and fear," to cheers of a Democratic party audience. How sad, then, that the Democratic party now preaches of isolationism, spewing racist nonsense about Middle Easterners not being "ready" for Democracy and self-government. Revolting.
Yes, I cringed at the whole gay-marriage amendment crap, and rolled my eyes when Bush said "nu-cue-lar" once again. But hey, I'll be a strong, proud Democrat once the party gets some JFK types back in the wings -- until then, the Republican party, "lesser of two evils" though they may be, has my support.
Religious Freedoms?
From a CNN.com article today:
From a CNN.com article today:
NEW YORK (AP) -- City health officials are investigating the death of a baby boy who was one of three infants to contract herpes after a rabbi circumcised them.I'm sorry, what was that? His mouth? What happened to religious freedoms not being allowed to supercede U.S. law? This country doesn't allow polygamy or peyote despite their religious importance to some peoples, but it's okay to slice a child's penis and then suck out the blood with your mouth as long as you're a Rabbi? Gah!
Under Jewish law, a mohel -- someone who performs circumcisions -- draws blood from the circumcision wound. Most mohels do it by hand, but Fischer uses a rare practice where he uses his mouth.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
A Real American Hero
I, too, was concerned this afternoon upon reading on many national newssites that an American soldier, one "John Adam", had been taken hostage. The Associated Press reported Iraqi militants claimed to "have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners." There was even a photograph of the prisoner.
Pretty scary stuff, until someone realized that the "soldier" was in fact this G.I. Joe action figure. And, really, if you look again at the photo of the "soldier", it's pretty obvious. And hysterical. Either someone caught the AP, Reuters, and most major news networks in an intentionally funny hoax, or the war on terror is going better than expected (when the militants have to resort to kidnapping dolls.)
Reputable news organizations don't seem to factcheck anything that puts Bush, conversatives, or the war in Iraq in a bad light. If 60 Minutes had broken this story, they'd likely still be standing by it -- saying that, well, technically, you can't prove it's not a soldier, right? (Update: Jeff at Shape of Days wins for the best quote on the disputed authenticity of today's "hostage" photo: "Apparently the Arabic script shown on the flag has a superscript "th" that can only easily be produced using Microsoft Word.")
Anyway, in the spirit of the head-shaking media-dupe, I created the following (combining images from the Dept. of Defense, and action figures available from a site called, I kid you not, the "Jesus Christ Superstore".) Enjoy!
I, too, was concerned this afternoon upon reading on many national newssites that an American soldier, one "John Adam", had been taken hostage. The Associated Press reported Iraqi militants claimed to "have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners." There was even a photograph of the prisoner.
Pretty scary stuff, until someone realized that the "soldier" was in fact this G.I. Joe action figure. And, really, if you look again at the photo of the "soldier", it's pretty obvious. And hysterical. Either someone caught the AP, Reuters, and most major news networks in an intentionally funny hoax, or the war on terror is going better than expected (when the militants have to resort to kidnapping dolls.)
Reputable news organizations don't seem to factcheck anything that puts Bush, conversatives, or the war in Iraq in a bad light. If 60 Minutes had broken this story, they'd likely still be standing by it -- saying that, well, technically, you can't prove it's not a soldier, right? (Update: Jeff at Shape of Days wins for the best quote on the disputed authenticity of today's "hostage" photo: "Apparently the Arabic script shown on the flag has a superscript "th" that can only easily be produced using Microsoft Word.")
Anyway, in the spirit of the head-shaking media-dupe, I created the following (combining images from the Dept. of Defense, and action figures available from a site called, I kid you not, the "Jesus Christ Superstore".) Enjoy!
Aw, thanks Kofi!
Has anyone else noticed the new United Nations advertisements taking credit for the recent free elections in Iraq? (pictured right) 
Feels a bit like waiting for the race to be over before backing the right horse, doesn't it? You see other foreign leaders (and U.S. Democrats) switching from "it'll never work" and "the elections must be postponed" and "no one will vote" and "tens of thousands will be killed on election day" to suddenly offering not only congratulations, but ways of taking credit for themselves ("I was committed to a free Iraq all along," "I've worked with the President on making this a success", etc.)
Come on. Where were you guys a month ago? Or two? Or six? Isn't it depressing that only hours earlier, world and national leaders were quite literally hoping -- sometimes vocally -- that the vote would fail, solely so Bush would look foolish? Now Bush looks like a visionary. If the strategy was to make our actions look bad, opponents of the President should have predicted zero violence and 100% voter turnout, so that the day as it went down would have been viewed as a disappointment. By setting the bar so low by predicting zero voter participation and mass death, they made Sunday seem the most significant vindication of the "Bush doctrine" since the war began.
Oh wait, I forgot -- the U.N. did it all. It's the U.N.'s success. Bush tried to mess it up but the U.N. saved the day anyway. Because Bush is stupid. Oh, and, Haliburton Haliburton Haliburton. Oh, and he never won Florida. And... and... and...
Has anyone else noticed the new United Nations advertisements taking credit for the recent free elections in Iraq? (pictured right) Feels a bit like waiting for the race to be over before backing the right horse, doesn't it? You see other foreign leaders (and U.S. Democrats) switching from "it'll never work" and "the elections must be postponed" and "no one will vote" and "tens of thousands will be killed on election day" to suddenly offering not only congratulations, but ways of taking credit for themselves ("I was committed to a free Iraq all along," "I've worked with the President on making this a success", etc.)
Come on. Where were you guys a month ago? Or two? Or six? Isn't it depressing that only hours earlier, world and national leaders were quite literally hoping -- sometimes vocally -- that the vote would fail, solely so Bush would look foolish? Now Bush looks like a visionary. If the strategy was to make our actions look bad, opponents of the President should have predicted zero violence and 100% voter turnout, so that the day as it went down would have been viewed as a disappointment. By setting the bar so low by predicting zero voter participation and mass death, they made Sunday seem the most significant vindication of the "Bush doctrine" since the war began.
Oh wait, I forgot -- the U.N. did it all. It's the U.N.'s success. Bush tried to mess it up but the U.N. saved the day anyway. Because Bush is stupid. Oh, and, Haliburton Haliburton Haliburton. Oh, and he never won Florida. And... and... and...
Daily Dish No More
Well it seems my favorite blogger of all time is retiring from the daily blogging business after five prolific years. Andrew Sullivan (andrewsullivan.com) was the first weblog I read on a daily basis, and is almost singularly responsible for me wanting to create this site (and defeatjohnjohn.com) in the first place. Though we didn't always agree on the issues (and I have some heated email exchanges to prove it), his writings remind us that it's okay to have a healthy mix of liberal and conservative beliefs (as do I), even though it led to both "sides" constantly calling him a "traitor".
Andrew will still be posting columns and making television appearances (hopefully more Bill Maher spots!) so it's not like we've seen the last of him, but it'll be hard to remember I don't have to check his obnoxiously-purple pages ten times a day. :)
Well it seems my favorite blogger of all time is retiring from the daily blogging business after five prolific years. Andrew Sullivan (andrewsullivan.com) was the first weblog I read on a daily basis, and is almost singularly responsible for me wanting to create this site (and defeatjohnjohn.com) in the first place. Though we didn't always agree on the issues (and I have some heated email exchanges to prove it), his writings remind us that it's okay to have a healthy mix of liberal and conservative beliefs (as do I), even though it led to both "sides" constantly calling him a "traitor".
Andrew will still be posting columns and making television appearances (hopefully more Bill Maher spots!) so it's not like we've seen the last of him, but it'll be hard to remember I don't have to check his obnoxiously-purple pages ten times a day. :)
