What's Going On?

I’m asking. Really, My nose is so stuffed up one moment and runny the next I can hardly sleep, work, drive, or think. Did Arafat die yet? Is that little blond slut he married the richest woman in the world now? Is Falluja over? Did anybody get snow yet? Where’s my tissue? Where’s the Sudafed?

This is my first year without a flu shot in over a decade and really, I forgot what it is like to get this sick. I have eaten gallons of chicken soup, drank gallons of low carb citrus juice, and eaten V-C’s and Echinacea, Zinc, and Alieve like they were all red, yellow, green, and chocolate M & Ms. By the way, how many Sudafeds can you take in a day? I hope a lot.

Now I hear Our Fearless Leader has gone to Canada to get his flu shot. Unfair, I say, nay, more then unfair, unsportsmanlike, and downright dastardly! Maybe it’s not true. Maybe it was just a fever dream.

Furthermore, I am starting to resent all those panic mongers (i.e. the dreaded press) who so convincingly created this flu shot panic in the first place--just to sell papers.

People who have never had flu shots in their lives were desperately standing in line for hours at a time just to get a coveted poke in the arm. How many people have died from the vaccine after being tricked into thinking they must have it or die?

What makes me mad is that they have already given out more flu shots this year then in any previous year! Shortage–what shortage! They created a shortage by creating a panic.

Don’t you just love the capitalists? Anything to make the economy go around.

Ya’all do your loved ones a favor.

Buy some of that new Kleenex tissue that kills 99% of virus germs. Be sure to cover your mouth at every cough and sneeze. Wash your hands every time you are near a sink (not because you may have touched something dirty, but because we all touch all things all day long). And especially wash your hands after touching money! Gets lots of sleep, drink lots of water, and be aware of healthy habits.

This winter, spread the love, not the virus.