Saturday, September 04, 2004
Mildred's Good Life
Mildred called. In fact she has been calling me at work for a couple of weeks. I ask her how she is and she tells me. Mildred is not quite 70. Her husband had a debilitating heart attack exactly one year ago last week, at the Woodward Dream Cruise. The Cruise has become The annual celebration of Motown's best known and least known, ugliest and chromiest, big fins and hotrod flames, and just gorgeous, inspiring, metal boxes on rubber tires, that swell up a passion in the hearts of Detroiters.
But Mildred's husband didn't die a year ago last week. Not that she wanted him to die -- far from it -- but now and then... she allows herself a sigh. The skilled care nursing home costs $15,000 a month. That's $180,000 just for this last year.
You see, Mildred and her husband made two big mistakes in their lives. They worked hard. And they made some money. Not millions. Just some. She was a homemaker; he was a successful whatever. And he had the Detroiter's love of old cars and classic cars which he spent some of his money on.
Now Mildred is trying to sell off the old cars. Medicare doesn't help people with more then one car. Medicare doesn't help much with skilled nursing homes anyway, but it especially won't help people that still have some of what they worked so hard for. So Mildred has been trying to sell a lot of their stuff that was meant to bring pleasure in their golden years. Cars, a boat, all the toys. Unfortunately, classic cars that he put so much time and money into won't sell for even a portion of his investments. Mildred is confused. She thought they had done so well for themselves. How rich do you have to be to earn comfort in your old age? How rich do you have to be? Isn't that the question?
There have always been division markers between the privileged and the peons. Cavemen leaders got to eat first. Middle Age rich and powerful got the private bedrooms while the rest of the village slept in common areas. In the early twentieth century, it was dental care (although if you watch BBC programs you'll notice that is more an American perk). Our union benefits and welfare programs gave the majority of people an opportunity to keep their teeth healthy.
Now, here we are at the beginning of the twenty-first century and most of us (peons) have decent homes, private bedrooms, lots of food, although not as nutritious as it used to be, and we have the opportunity to either keep our teeth or at least look like we did.
Today, our division markers are manners and behavioral standards. Finishing Schools teach the children of privilege how to behave, how to use etiquette and eye contact, and most important, how to identify members of their own class.
But I fear by the end of the next decade, the new division marker will be aged parents. Only the truly rich and powerful will have access to quality skilled health care for their loved ones. Only the truly rich would even consider spending what it will cost in 20 years to keep a parent alive. It is already starting. Look at poor Mildred. With all their work and planning, selling everything to keep a husband, who will probably never recover, comfortable till the end of his (how many) numbered days.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Quit smoking, start exercising, watch what you eat, and take good care of yourself now, so your spouse and kids won't have to later.
Mildred called. In fact she has been calling me at work for a couple of weeks. I ask her how she is and she tells me. Mildred is not quite 70. Her husband had a debilitating heart attack exactly one year ago last week, at the Woodward Dream Cruise. The Cruise has become The annual celebration of Motown's best known and least known, ugliest and chromiest, big fins and hotrod flames, and just gorgeous, inspiring, metal boxes on rubber tires, that swell up a passion in the hearts of Detroiters.
But Mildred's husband didn't die a year ago last week. Not that she wanted him to die -- far from it -- but now and then... she allows herself a sigh. The skilled care nursing home costs $15,000 a month. That's $180,000 just for this last year.
You see, Mildred and her husband made two big mistakes in their lives. They worked hard. And they made some money. Not millions. Just some. She was a homemaker; he was a successful whatever. And he had the Detroiter's love of old cars and classic cars which he spent some of his money on.
Now Mildred is trying to sell off the old cars. Medicare doesn't help people with more then one car. Medicare doesn't help much with skilled nursing homes anyway, but it especially won't help people that still have some of what they worked so hard for. So Mildred has been trying to sell a lot of their stuff that was meant to bring pleasure in their golden years. Cars, a boat, all the toys. Unfortunately, classic cars that he put so much time and money into won't sell for even a portion of his investments. Mildred is confused. She thought they had done so well for themselves. How rich do you have to be to earn comfort in your old age? How rich do you have to be? Isn't that the question?
There have always been division markers between the privileged and the peons. Cavemen leaders got to eat first. Middle Age rich and powerful got the private bedrooms while the rest of the village slept in common areas. In the early twentieth century, it was dental care (although if you watch BBC programs you'll notice that is more an American perk). Our union benefits and welfare programs gave the majority of people an opportunity to keep their teeth healthy.
Now, here we are at the beginning of the twenty-first century and most of us (peons) have decent homes, private bedrooms, lots of food, although not as nutritious as it used to be, and we have the opportunity to either keep our teeth or at least look like we did.
Today, our division markers are manners and behavioral standards. Finishing Schools teach the children of privilege how to behave, how to use etiquette and eye contact, and most important, how to identify members of their own class.
But I fear by the end of the next decade, the new division marker will be aged parents. Only the truly rich and powerful will have access to quality skilled health care for their loved ones. Only the truly rich would even consider spending what it will cost in 20 years to keep a parent alive. It is already starting. Look at poor Mildred. With all their work and planning, selling everything to keep a husband, who will probably never recover, comfortable till the end of his (how many) numbered days.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Quit smoking, start exercising, watch what you eat, and take good care of yourself now, so your spouse and kids won't have to later.
