Monday, May 24, 2004
Happiness & the Purpose of Life
Gee, we are living longer and longer, but our perception of our lack of accomplishments is hitting earlier and earlier. No wonder we are not happy! We used to feel inadequacies at mid-life crisis –- in the forties or the fifties: "Is that all there is?" "Is this my life?" "Is this as good as I can be?"
But today, young people judge themselves by the early demise of a few rock stars. It is true we've lost some talent that didn’t make it to 30 years old; some not even to 20. Some died in accidents. And more then a few died of drug abuse. Those that left a body of work have something in common: focus toward only one goal. Their body of work is all similar. Their lack of variety and life experiences shows.
Even for those who lived a long long life and succeeded to produce great bodies of work still have that focus-factor in common. A narrow view of their lives’ purpose propelled them in one direction at a time. Little side excursions were not allowed. They achieved a sense of fulfillment by achieving one goal at a time. And they made lasting impressions on the rest of us. We are in awe of their accomplishments. But only because the rest of us are well-rounded. Their accomplishments add to the texture of our lives. They have given us layers and layers of art, poetry, music, theatre, stories and speeches. We appreciate all of them. They gave up their chances to enjoy all that life has to give in exchange for glory and success.
Thus the legend of Faustus who is said to have sold his soul to the devil for success and glory. Perhaps our souls need to experience as much living as possible to get us into heaven. Perhaps the alternative of hell is a result of single-mindedness.
Living in a country like America where a poor little boy from a log cabin who did his homework by candlelight has left a very high standard of performance for the rest of us. We expect to make something of ourselves. We expect to be lawyers, doctors, and presidents. In this country, we no longer define success by providing enough food to sustain life and enough shelter to provide survival through the winter. We no longer spend every waking moment to keep our families alive. And we no longer feel that sense of accomplishment.
A very smart woman once told me to set goals. She said if all you ever think about is trying to pay the bills, then all you will ever succeed at is paying the bills. In a way, she was right. Although she meant making a lot of money -- which she did –- her life was no happier then mine. Having a lot of money gave her no more happiness then I have. We both lost our husbands. We both wasted too much time worrying about money and missed much of the day to day experiences. We both provided for our families and protected them from hunger and cold. We have both learned that setting a goal like learning to draw a square, a circle, and a cone can be just as rewarding as winning a race, being the best salesperson for a week, making a movie, decorating a room, or making a billion dollars. As the article John referred to in his May 19 posting said, "One reason we aspire to the fast track of wealth and power is a phenomenon scientists call the 'hedonic treadmill' -- how the acquisition of commodities and clout provides a short-term emotional lift that makes us want more. We get a raise, spend it, the extra dough becomes moot, and we want more." This can be said of any goal. Once achieved, we should be aware that that thrill is gone, it is time to move onto a new goal.
Age doesn’t matter unless you are a good bottle of wine. No matter how old you are, now is the time to wake up to your surroundings, challenge yourself, succeed, and challenge yourself again. That is the secret of a happy life.
Gee, we are living longer and longer, but our perception of our lack of accomplishments is hitting earlier and earlier. No wonder we are not happy! We used to feel inadequacies at mid-life crisis –- in the forties or the fifties: "Is that all there is?" "Is this my life?" "Is this as good as I can be?"
But today, young people judge themselves by the early demise of a few rock stars. It is true we've lost some talent that didn’t make it to 30 years old; some not even to 20. Some died in accidents. And more then a few died of drug abuse. Those that left a body of work have something in common: focus toward only one goal. Their body of work is all similar. Their lack of variety and life experiences shows.
Even for those who lived a long long life and succeeded to produce great bodies of work still have that focus-factor in common. A narrow view of their lives’ purpose propelled them in one direction at a time. Little side excursions were not allowed. They achieved a sense of fulfillment by achieving one goal at a time. And they made lasting impressions on the rest of us. We are in awe of their accomplishments. But only because the rest of us are well-rounded. Their accomplishments add to the texture of our lives. They have given us layers and layers of art, poetry, music, theatre, stories and speeches. We appreciate all of them. They gave up their chances to enjoy all that life has to give in exchange for glory and success.
Thus the legend of Faustus who is said to have sold his soul to the devil for success and glory. Perhaps our souls need to experience as much living as possible to get us into heaven. Perhaps the alternative of hell is a result of single-mindedness.
Living in a country like America where a poor little boy from a log cabin who did his homework by candlelight has left a very high standard of performance for the rest of us. We expect to make something of ourselves. We expect to be lawyers, doctors, and presidents. In this country, we no longer define success by providing enough food to sustain life and enough shelter to provide survival through the winter. We no longer spend every waking moment to keep our families alive. And we no longer feel that sense of accomplishment.
A very smart woman once told me to set goals. She said if all you ever think about is trying to pay the bills, then all you will ever succeed at is paying the bills. In a way, she was right. Although she meant making a lot of money -- which she did –- her life was no happier then mine. Having a lot of money gave her no more happiness then I have. We both lost our husbands. We both wasted too much time worrying about money and missed much of the day to day experiences. We both provided for our families and protected them from hunger and cold. We have both learned that setting a goal like learning to draw a square, a circle, and a cone can be just as rewarding as winning a race, being the best salesperson for a week, making a movie, decorating a room, or making a billion dollars. As the article John referred to in his May 19 posting said, "One reason we aspire to the fast track of wealth and power is a phenomenon scientists call the 'hedonic treadmill' -- how the acquisition of commodities and clout provides a short-term emotional lift that makes us want more. We get a raise, spend it, the extra dough becomes moot, and we want more." This can be said of any goal. Once achieved, we should be aware that that thrill is gone, it is time to move onto a new goal.
Age doesn’t matter unless you are a good bottle of wine. No matter how old you are, now is the time to wake up to your surroundings, challenge yourself, succeed, and challenge yourself again. That is the secret of a happy life.
